The Truth About Heaven
by xsynthetic-smile
Summary: i'm miserable up here without you. [SORA] [SOKAI] [DEDICATION FIC]


The Truth about Heaven

**;xsyntheticsmile**

---

_Heaven's not a place  
that you go when you die;  
it's that moment in life  
when you actually feel alive._

_-The Tide_

---

He watches the sunset every day. Each one is more beautiful than the last, the colors more lively, the sun more vibrant, the clouds intertwined even more perfectly than before. The beauty is like nothing he has ever seen, nothing else the world could ever hope to imitate. It's a living masterpiece, and he wants to take in every moment. He used to say it reminded him of her. But he doesn't see it anymore.

He wakes up to the smell of sea water every day; strong, potent, sweetly choking him until tears come to his eyes. He remembers that smell, the way it clung to her those nights so long ago, and the way it used to make him smile just at the thought. It would have deterred anyone else, anyone whose heart wasn't connected with the sea. To him, it was the sweetest scent he could ever know. But he doesn't smell it anymore.

He tastes the salt in the air every day, when he walks along the beach, as the warm sand eases up between his naked toes. His mind is overcome by memories of the land, sea, and sky, the days they spent talking about other worlds, escaping their prison, and living out the rest of their lives together. He used to breathe it in, long and deep, always afraid of letting go and losing them forever. But he doesn't taste it anymore.

He hears the ocean singing every day, a hopeful melody of dreams thrown out to sea. As he watches the waves lap up onto shore, always being restrained from flooding onto the empty land, each one reminds him of all the promises that he made that will never be fulfilled. It used to give him strength, knowing that one day, he'd be able to make her understand, be able to tell her how sorry he was. He used to know the lyrics by heart. But he doesn't hear it anymore.

He feels the wind every day, cool against his skin, surrounding him in its embrace. It comforts him, lulling him to sleep as the day fades away. He remembers only too well how he used to be the one giving comfort, wrapping his arms around her as he said his final goodbye. He remembers the tears in her eyes, the warmth in her arms, and the way her cries reach him even here, where he thought he would never hear her voice again. He wishes he could be with her right now. That used to be all he wanted. But he doesn't feel it anymore.

He doesn't feel anything anymore.

He can't even bring himself to try.

He's watching the sunset again, but it's covered by clouds, all the pain and regret gathered together in a mass of tears, blocking out his hope. Blocking out his heart.

He sees the island around him, and everything is the same. Exactly how he left it. Exactly how he remembers.

He knows this is where he was happiest. He knows his memories are real.

But he doesn't care anymore.

He doesn't think he wants to.

They tell him this is heaven. He's not sure if he believes them.

Because if it is, it isn't how they used to think it was. It isn't paradise. The skies aren't clear, the sun isn't warm, and the people don't sing.

Not enough for him to notice, anyway.

They used to dream about this place. When they were sitting up on the pier, watching the sun fade from the sky, and wondering what the sunset looked like from up there.

Well, here he is. And now he knows.

He knows she can't hear him, but he thinks she deserves to know the truth.

It rains in heaven all day long.

He's miserable up here without her.

---

**Fini.**

* * *

Okay, so for this fic, I used lyrics from two of my favorite songs. The Tide by Spill Canvas, and Truth about Heaven by Armor for Sleep (the last two lines). I suggest you go listen to them. They're really beautiful songs.

Hm, well I was just informed by the marvelous emi lulu that perhaps my story is a tad bit cryptic in that I never really tell you whether or not Sora is dead. That being said, yes, Sora is dead. You see, in this idea of "heaven," you return to the place where you were happiest. Or a spiritual version of it, anyway. In this case, Sora returned to the spiritual version of Destiny Islands, which explains the description of the island and everything. Hope that clears things up. :D

Oh, and one more thing,

**xxdedishmakated to emi lulu, gray-rain skies, victorious light, and zanisha  
. . . whose brilliant writings managed to pull me out of a really bad writer's block episode.**

Go read the stories that inspired me.

--Endless by Victorious Light  
--Midsummer Panic by emi lulu  
--Beauty by Gray-Rain Skies  
--Forsakemenot by Zanisha

Read them, love them, review them.

Mhmm.

See that little button down there?  
It wants you to click it.  
Yes, yes it does.

_-hearts-  
xsyntheticsmile_


End file.
